I’ll admit it.
Lately, I’ve been feeling a little… disconnected from the investigation.
Thanks to the smoke drifting down from the Canadian wildfires, my daily perimeter patrols have been put on hold. Normally, you’ll find me making my rounds with my trusty spray bottle (my preferred soapy solution for dealing with young spotted lantern flies), inspecting leaves, peering under branches, and generally behaving in a way that probably has my neighbors questioning my employment status.
But with the air quality the way it’s been, I’ve had to stay inside.
Which has left me with one very important question:
Will this smoke at least knock back the spotted lantern fly population?
Listen—I know the wildfires are devastating, and I’m certainly not rooting for them.
But if we’re all stuck breathing smoky air from hundreds of miles away, couldn’t the universe throw us one tiny silver lining?
Unfortunately, the answer appears to be… no.
As far as anyone knows, the smoke isn’t going to solve my lantern fly problem. So while I’m hiding indoors checking the air quality every fifteen minutes, the lantern flies are presumably carrying on with business as usual.
Disappointing.
But that’s not even the biggest news.
The biggest development in this investigation came during a recent conversation with my brother-in-law, a farmer.
Apparently…
He’s not entirely anti–spotted lantern fly.
Neither is one of his farming colleagues.
Excuse me?
After months…well years… of documenting these tiny menaces like they were public enemy number one, I’ve discovered there are actual people walking among us who believe the lantern fly deserves… a fair hearing.
To be clear, I don’t think they’re secretly running a lantern fly fan club. But if my daily spotted lantern fly killing spree is based on bad intel, I have a responsibility to find out. A true nature detective follows the evidence wherever it leads—even if it means questioning my entire investigation.
So I’m extending an invitation.
Gentlemen, if you’re reading this, Nature Detective Headquarters would like to offer you the floor.
Convince us. Tell us what we’re missing. Make your argument.
I can’t promise the comments section won’t be emotionally charged, but emotions are meaningless when it comes to scientific discoveries.
In the meantime, one quick PSA: if you’re under poor air quality from the wildfire smoke, don’t forget about your backyard wildlife. Put out a shallow dish of fresh water for the birds, bees, butterflies, squirrels, and other visitors. Clean water is especially important during hot, smoky weather, and it’s one small way to help while we’re all waiting for clearer skies.
The perimeter patrols will resume as soon as conditions improve.
The investigation, however, never really stops.
It just occasionally takes an unexpected turn.
ZOE ANN LARSON 