It has been brought to my attention by my one (1) loyal subscriber that I have failed in my duties as a nature detective and owe the public an apology.
Here’s what happened…
The other day I texted him:
“I’m so creeped out sitting outside in my backyard. I don’t wanna feel like this on my own property.”
His response?
“???”
I replied:
“What do you mean??? The spotted lantern flies!”
And he goes:
“Your last blog post said you didn’t see any!”
…and that’s when I realized…
I NEVER UPDATED YOU ALL.
That was ONE DAY. One suspicious, confusing, glorious day where I didn’t see a single spotted lantern fly, and somehow I forgot to report that they immediately returned and resumed terrorizing my backyard.
🕵️ YES, they’re still here.
🕵️ NO, I still have absolutely no explanation for where they disappeared to that one day.
Now, I hate to go full Nature Karen, but I am back on track and need to address something….
I’ve been seeing local news outlets posting things like:
“The spotted lantern flies are back!”
Back??
They have been here the whole time!
Ya’ll just weren’t looking close enough.
A few weeks ago they were tiny nymphs. Then they molted. Then they got bigger.
I’ve been watching these little weirdos grow up all summer. They didn’t magically arrive—they’ve been here the whole time.
This is exactly why I’ve been crawling around my backyard looking like a lunatic for months.
Which is why it’s time for me to refocus on the mission.
There are still questions that need answers…
ZOE ANN LARSON 