ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
Last September, I discovered that spotted lantern flies are drawn to tall things. As a 6-ft person, I immediately felt personally at risk of being targeted* simply by existing outdoors.
*To be fair, they don’t bite or sting.
And recently…I found out it’s even worse.
Apparently, they’re also attracted to the vibrations of a still human and research suggests they’re drawn to low-frequency 60-hertz vibrations, the exact electrical hum produced by power lines and transformers.
HELLO!?
So basically, if you want to avoid being targeted*: don’t be tall, and don’t sit peacefully in your own backyard or surrounded by power lines and transformers…
Meanwhile, the full grown bastards have been EVERYWHERE lately.
They’re big. They’re fast. They’re vibing to the vibrations.
Buckle up, because they are no longer wingless nymphs lined up along the branches of the tree of heaven.
No.
Now they’re jumping around like it’s a 24/7 House of Pain concert.
Needless to say, I have been studying the enemy. And just the other day, I witnessed what I can only describe as a nature detective’s wet dream:
A badass little spider MURDERING A SPOTTED LANTERN FLY.
It was honestly fascinating.
The SLF was flailing around, desperately trying to escape (guess those sticky little feet aren’t so handy now…), while this tiny spider calmly went about its business: wrapping it in silk, methodically constructing the web with every architectural element necessary for success.
And it worked.
I have to admit, watching this tiny creature take down something I find so deeply creepy makes me want to be a little less creeped out by spiders.
Anyway.
It was really fucking cool.
And the spider kind of looked like a tiny octopus.
