THEY’RE ACTING WEIRD.

My latest spotted lantern fly discoveries have been… limited.

Because WHERE THE FUCK ARE THEY?

They are suddenly nowhere to be found. I have no recent photographic evidence for my fellow detectives…

And when I do see one, they seem… different. Still freaky. Still jumping around. Still at a House of Pain concert, but now with a lot less pep in their step.

Honestly, they seem like they’re on Quaaludes. Like they’ve gone from House of Pain to Pink Floyd. Comfortably Numb.

And for one brief, confusing moment, I actually felt a little bad for them.

Don’t Stop Believing

– Sasquatch

Then I stomped one.

Watched it go completely still.

NOT JUST DEAD. SMOOSHED.

Or so I thought.

A few seconds later, it started moving again.

At this point, I was less concerned about its wellbeing and more fascinated by the fact that I had apparently just witnessed a tiny insect stage its own resurrection.

For the record, I did eventually kill it.

But hello. I did not realize spotted lantern flies also had nine lives.

And you know what really sums up this entire situation? This direct quote from my one subscriber when I asked for his thoughts on spotted lantern flies and my investigation:

“It has wings. It has legs. It has never once used either to escape a shoe.”

I can’t say for certain that I know what he means.

But honestly? He may have a point.

Something is definitely weird this year.

#SpottedLanternFlyDetective #NatureDetective